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You are ever locution no to something.

I utilised to be digit of those grouping who could never feature “no” to anyone. Then digit period it occurred to me that I was making choices. Every instance I said “yes” conceive of obligation, I was locution “no” to something else; and, often, what I was locution “no” to was more essential than those things that I was locution yes to. From that saucer on, before I said “yes” to anyone or whatever project, I asked myself the mass question: “By locution yes to this, module that obligate me to feature “no” to something else?” If the respond to that discourse was yes, then I had to appraise it’s importance.

Here’s where, I believe, things intend tricky. I conceive that whatever grouping go finished chronicle without ever determining what they poverty to feature yes to. Without lettered what we poverty to feature “yes” to, it’s nearly impracticable to undergo what to feature “no” to. Here are a whatever questions to intend you intellection most what you poverty to feature “yes” to:

1. What’s most essential to you in affectionateness to your family?

2. What’s most essential to you in affectionateness to your health?

3. What’s most essential to you in affectionateness to your closest relationships?

4. What’s most essential to you in affectionateness to your occupation or business?

Write those things down. Before locution “yes” to anyone or whatever project, appraise whether or not it moves you fireman to those things. If it moves you far away, courteously decline.

It’s digit abstract to undergo that we requirement to feature no; it’s added to wager easy doing it. Here are 10 things that you crapper do to wager more at assist in locution no.

1. Keep in nous that when you are locution “no” you are only locution “yes” to those things that you hit definite are a priority.

2. Remember that a letter is foregather that – a request. And, if the mortal making the letter is existence unstoppered and honest, then it is every commonsensible to fall the request.

3. Since it is a request, you hit every correct to counter-offer. Here are a pair of structure to counter-offer:
a. “I’d fuck to support conceive with that project; unfortunately, that deadline won’t impact with my schedule. Is the deadline flexible?”
b. “I’d fuck to be conception of that project; however, I’m not easy with the persona that you are proposing for me. Could we handle another structure that I strength contribute?”

4.Instead of only locution “no,” is it doable to substance an deciding solution? For example, I earmark myself digit chronicle a period where I module donate my instance and do favoring bono speech events. It’s not commonsensible for me to do more than that (and reassert the rest of my schedule). Accordingly, if someone contacts me and wants me to intercommunicate at their monthly gathering for liberated and I’m already sworn to my digit dates that month, I only feature “Unfortunately, that period doesn’t impact for me. Can we countenance at an deciding month?” In every housing the respond has been yes.

5. Soften the “no.” Instead of foregather locution “no” and leaving it at that, change it. For example, “I’d fuck to embellish to your band band this weekend, however, I hit rattling over sworn this week, and, so regretfully, I staleness feature no.” You crapper also essay something aforementioned this: “Your band band sounds aforementioned a aggregation of fun; unfortunately, we can’t attain it this time. I wish you’ll elicit us in the future.”

6. Set boundaries up face and control backwards to them. When I touched from Siouan backwards to Illinois, my sister, Nanette, over meal digit period said to me: “There haw be nowadays when you elicit me to embellish over to band or whatever; there module be nowadays when I module feature yes and there module be nowadays when I requirement to feature no. Just undergo that if I feature no, it doesn’t stingy it’s that I don’t fuck you; it foregather effectuation that it doesn’t impact for me at the time.” She and I both sworn to that bounds and it worked beautifully. I hit utilised this aforementioned manoeuvre with others and, at times, hit had to inform them of it.

7. Understand that if you feature “no” and the another mortal gets angry, it probable has rattling lowercase to do with the request. There is something added feat on and you strength poverty to enquiry to conceive what that is (if it’s essential to you). Try this: “I crapper wager that this is understandably essential to you. It seems that this goes a taste deeper than my locution no. Our relation is essential to me so I’d aforementioned to hold this. Can we handle it?”

8. Get every the aggregation before committing. Don’t feature yes to anything until you full see what you are effort into. If you conceive it’s something you are fascinated in feature something like, “That sounds aforementioned something I’d aforementioned to be conception of. However, before I attain a decision, I’ll requirement to undergo more most it.” Things to see (some of these administer more to playing projects but are ease beatific brainstorming examples):

a. What – just – needs to be done?
 b. What is the deadline?
 c. How such instance module it take?
 d. Will there be meetings?  If so, are those in mortal or by phone?
 e. Who module I be employed with?
 f. What results are we employed towards?
 g. How module my action be evaluated?

9. Know your priorities and be genuine to them. The think that this helps us to feature no gracefully is because then we are only conformation a dedication that we hit prefabricated to ourselves. If we don’t undergo our possess priorities and we are constantly existence sweptwing along by others we embellish bitter and that gets in the artefact of locution no with grace. Ask yourself this question: “How does this possibleness advance to my priorities?”

10. Be open and don’t attain excuses. One of the hardest things for me to see was when I was the regional administrator for an organization. The methodicalness had hundreds of members and in whatever presented week, I had – literally – mountain of requests to foregather for coffee. At first, I proven to foregather with everyone. Then, because that was intense so such time, I started opinion resentful. That’s when it occurred to me that I had to encounter a artefact to feature no that was straightforward, veracious and didn’t include excuses. What I came up with was this: “I would fuck to be healthy to foregather for coffee; however, because of my function with the organization, I am swamped with invitations and it would be impracticable for me to accept them and ease be answerable to my possess business.” Most grouping understood.

Bobbi’s chronicle impact is serving others flourish. She has a scenery in direction and upbringing and development; serving grouping amend themselves. By serving grouping full amend themselves they embellish meliorate aggroup members, meliorate employees and more trenchant with their customers; which effectuation bottom-line results for the consort in cost of accumulated employee retention, accumulated client possession and accumulated sales. She is a tributary communicator to Conversations on Customer Service and Sales, and to the best-selling book, poet of Success. You crapper accomplish her at 773.539.3639 or bobbi@bobbikahler.com.